


Birch Bark, Meet Barbie

by kma08014



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Shark Attack (The Wilds), Best Friends, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, The Unsinkable Eight (The Wilds)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kma08014/pseuds/kma08014
Summary: Toni and Martha have been friends since second grade, when Martha’s mom agreed to foster her daughter’s classmate after the girl's mother left her in a trailer home and never looked back. The two start their freshman year at the University of Texas in Austin where they meet the rest of the Unsinkable 8. Some dialogue is canon.
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Fatin Jadmani/Toni Shalifoe, Martha Blackburn & Shelby Goodkind, Martha Blackburn & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Fatin Jadmani/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	1. Sisters. Some People are Born with Them, I Guess. But I Chose Mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Story is told from Toni's point of view unless indicated otherwise. Her thoughts are in italics. Chapter names are quotes from the show. This is my fic so bear with me.

“Marty B! Let’s go!” Toni called to her best friend as she tossed her pillow into the trunk and slammed the door shut. “Coming! I just need to pee!” Martha yelled back. Toni shook her head, her brunette ponytail shaking, and chuckled to herself. The two girls had been friends since the second grade. Toni knew Martha better than anyone; Marty _always_ had to pee right before she left the house.

Before climbing into the driver’s seat, Toni stopped to take a good look at the Blackburn house, which, for the past eleven years had been her home. Toni’s mind drifted back to the first time she saw the house. Her next door neighbor, Renee, brought her there after Renee’s niece, Bernice, agreed to foster the seven-year-old. Toni was put into foster care after her mother, Amanda, left one day to “run to the bank” and never came back.

Despite her tender age, Toni was used to being left unaccompanied at the trailer for hours at a time. For as long as should could remember, Toni knew Amanda wasn’t going to the bank. Amanda worked six days a week as a waitress at Christopher’s, the local pub, but somehow never had any money. The pub paid her in cash, and Amanda certainly did not have a bank account. 

The first time it happened was the longest night of Toni’s life. Sometime around 10:00 p.m., the little girl had fallen asleep, her body succumbing to sleepiness. A few hours later, she awoke to noises coming outside of the trailer door. Toni sprung up out of bed, clicked on the flashlight which was still in the palm of her tiny hand, and pointed the light out of the window of the trailer door. “AH!? What the fuck?” Amanda muttered. Toni’s heart resumed beating at the sound of the familiar voice. “Antonia?” Amanda yelled. “ANTONIA? Open the door… I can’t… find... these... fucking... keys…” Amanda’s voice trailed off. Toni jumped out of bed, switched on the light in the main room, and unlocked the door, her small frame shaking as she pushed open the door for her mother. Amanda stumbled inside. “Thanks,” she mumbled as she walked past Toni and made her way to the back of the trailer. Amanda didn’t even bother taking off her shoes before she dove head first into the only bed in the cramped trailer, her bag falling to the floor. In seconds, she was asleep. Toni quietly walked over to the bed, staring at Amanda. She placed the items on the floor into Amanda’s bag and pulled off her mother’s shoes before rising on her tippy toes to reach the bedroom light switch and closing the door behind her. Toni threw the bag and shoes under the kitchen table quietly, locked the trailer door, and climbed back onto the couch, which doubled as her bed. It took some time, but eventually, Toni fell back to sleep.

After the third time, Toni’s body adjusted, and she no longer woke when Amanda stumbled into the trailer during the middle of the night. One Sunday in October, Toni awoke to find herself in the trailer alone. Toni made herself some pop tarts and tidied up the main room of the trailer, which acted as the living room, kitchen, dining room and Toni's bedroom. Still no Amanda. Toni put on her sneakers and Amanda’s Carhartt jacket, which she swam in, and grabbed her basketball. Toni had been dribbling outside for about an hour when she saw a car pull onto their side street. Relieved, Toni grabbed the ball and ran to the side of the road, expecting to see Amanda’s dark, beat up sedan. Toni’s fear returned when she realized that the car belonged to her neighbor, Renee. Toni waved as Renee slowly drove by and pulled into the driveway of the trailer on the opposite side of the street. Toni returned to the road.

About a half hour later, Renee exited her trailer. “Hey there, little A.” Renee said, as she walked towards Toni. Toni smiled; Renee was always so nice to her. Renee looked past Toni, her eyes on the little girl’s trailer home. “Say, is your mom home?” Renee asked. Toni continued dribbling, her eyes glued to the basketball. “Antonia?” Renee pressed. Toni bit her lip and shook her head, her golden brown eyes still on the ball. She refused to look Renee in the eye. “Do you know where she is?” Renee pressed. Toni shrugged, her dark loose curls bouncing in the wind as she dribbled. “I don’t know." She said quietly. "I think she went to the bank.” Renee looked at Toni, sadly. “When did she leave?” Renee said, her voice becoming concerned. Toni stopped dribbling and turned around, knowing she was caught. “Last night?” Toni answered sheepishly with tears in her eyes.

Toni shook the memory – refusing to think of her time with Amanda. _Not today_. Amanda’s last bank run was one of the best things that happened to Toni. It brought her to the Blackburns. It took some time because Amanda was MIA, but eventually, on Toni’s tenth birthday, Ms. Blackburn surprised Toni when she asked her asked if she wanted to be adopted. For a girl born into chaos, stability was the best gift she could ask for. Toni immediately said “yes,” but on one condition: that she be able to legally change her name from “Antonia” to “Toni,” and that she keep her last name. Bernice - Bernie as Toni lovingly called her - had no problem with the request. She knew how Toni felt about her name. Toni had stopped going by “Antonia” the minute she left the trailer park. It was her way of distancing herself from Amanda.

Toni climbed into the driver seat as Martha took a minute to hug her mom goodbye. Toni smiled and looked away, in attempts to give them some privacy. Toni knew that Bernice was dreading the day the girls left for college. Bernice talked about the different ways she would spend her free time, but Toni knew that she was putting on a brave face. Martha was Bernice's youngest daughter. Once the girls left, she would have the house to herself. 

As Martha pulled away from Bernice, Toni smiled, noting her burnt orange “UT MOM” tee shirt. For a brief moment, Toni was overcome with emotions. Excitement. Fear. Joy. Disbelief. This was actually happening. She and Martha about to drive to Austin and move into their very own apartment, which was just a short drive from UT’s campus. Bernice approached the driver side’s door and took Toni’s hand into her own. “You girls take care of each other,” Bernice said looking from Martha to Toni. Toni could see that Bernice was holding back tears. “That’s what I’m here for, Bernie.” Toni answered, squeezing Bernice’s hand. Martha smiled. With that, Bernice placed a quick kiss on Toni's hand, turned and made her way back to the porch to wave them off. 

Just before she could pull out of the driveway, Martha put her arm across Toni. “Wait!” Martha yelled. Toni looked to her best friend, slightly confused. "Do you not have the directions ready?" Toni asked. Martha didn't answer, furiously scrolled through her phone. “Marty!?” Toni said impatiently. Martha pushed a button on Toni’s dashboard and cranked the volume. Toni recognized the song immediately. _“Yeah, this album is dedicated t_ _o all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin'_ _….”_ “Juicy,” by The Notorious B.I.G. blasted through the speakers. For as long as should could remember, this was their song. Toni smiled at Martha. Her best friend. Her sister. “ _Now_ we can go.” Martha said, laughing. With that, Toni beeped her horn and pulled out of the driveway, as Martha snapped a selfie of her and Toni, memorializing the start of their latest adventure.


	2. I Know They're Edible. I Just Ate Them.

_Two weeks later_

_“Yeah (uh), yeah, yeah (uh) (grr).”_ Toni groaned and rolled over to her nightstand, her loose Hopewell Lake Basketball muscle tank slightly damp. She was not used to the Texas heat. _What time is it? And why the fuck did I make that song my alarm._ “X Gon’ Give It To Ya,” by DMX was one of her favorites, but Toni was _not_ a morning person. She made an exception for training; practice at 6:00 a.m. was non-negotiable as a Division 1 athlete, even during the off season, but today was one of her days off. Toni squinted, looking at the time. 7:45 a.m. _Nope._ Toni shut her alarm off, forgetting why it had been set in the first place. Without opening her eyes, she sat up, pulled her black tank top off, and tossed it aimlessly, not caring where it landed. Shirtless, Toni fell back onto her bed and turned to her side, curling one arm under a pillow as she groaned.

“Toni?” Martha said quietly, knocking lightly on Toni’s door. “Are you up?” Toni was awake, but her eyes were closed. She did not want to get up. _“Toni.”_ Martha said again, her voice slightly louder. “Toni, come on, you need to wake up. We can’t be late for orientation.” _Fuck._ Today was the first day of freshman orientation at UT. Toni didn’t see the point of orientation. She and Martha lived off campus, in a two bedroom apartment a little over a mile from school. They visited the campus in the spring – Bernie surprised the girls with a weekend trip to Austin once they received their acceptances – and they already had their schedules, which were available on the student portal.

“Toni, come on. You promised.” Martha said. With that, Toni relented. “I’m up.” She said as she threw off her comforter. Martha was right. She had promised. It was Toni’s idea to live off campus. If she lived on campus, Toni would be placed in a dorm exclusive to athletes. She wanted to live with Martha, so she suggested that the two find an off-campus apartment. Martha wanted to live with Toni, of course, but she was worried how living off campus would affect her ability to meet people. The only person she knew in Austin was Toni, and between training, practice, games, and class, Martha was unsure how much she would actually see her. The two compromised; Martha agreed to live off campus if Toni agreed to go to freshman orientation with her the week before classes. “I’ll be ready in ten.” Toni said, still half asleep.

A little after 8:15 a.m., Martha and Toni were on campus, making their way toward the Student Union. Toni yawned, her car keys in one hand and a half-filled iced coffee in the other. “Toni.” Martha said, laughing. “Sorry, Marty! You know I’m a slow starter.” Martha smiled. “Come on! Orientation starts soon.” Martha quickened her pace. “You trying to race?” Toni asked playfully. Martha rolled her eyes. "Not unless you left your super speed in Hopewell Lake,” she said smiling.

Ten minutes later, the two arrived outside the Student Union, which was buzzing with hundreds of students. “Holy shit.” Toni said. “AHHH!” Marty said, unable to contain her excitement. “This is actually happening.” Toni and Martha got in line to check-in. “This is crazy.” Martha said, her eyes scanning the crowd. “Anybody catching your eye?” Toni said to Martha, snickering. Martha giggled, “We’ll see.” In no time they were at the front of the line. “Next!” Toni heard, looking to see which table she and Martha were being called to. UT was a big school. There must have been fifteen tables checking-in students. Toni saw a hand waving and made her way to the fourth table.

Toni and Martha were greeted by a girl with perfectly olive skin, straight black hair and piercing dark eyes. _Damn. I can get used to this._ “Name?” The girl said, looking up from her sheet to Martha briefly before her eyes landed on Toni. Toni didn’t say anything. “Martha Blackburn.” Martha replied, smiling at Toni, who looked slightly flustered. There was a brief pause before Martha continued, "and this is Toni Shalifoe." “Toni.” The girl said, her eyes still locked with Toni’s. “Great name.” Martha’s smile grew as she saw her best friend blush and look away. “If you like that, you should hear her phone number.” Martha said before she could stop herself. _“Marty.”_ Toni said quietly, slightly embarrassed. The girl laughed. “I’m Alex.” She said as she handed them each a campus map and an orange drawstring UT bag. “You’re in group four. Your name tags are in your bags with some swag. Welcome to UT.” Alex said with a smile, still looking at Toni. “Thanks, Alex.” Martha said.

Martha and Toni were only a few steps away from the table when they heard Alex. “Oh, Toni.” She said. Toni turned around, her golden brown eyes meeting Alex’s dark eyes again. “I think I gave you the wrong map.” She said, her hand outstretched. Toni furrowed her brows, unable to hide her confusion. The map in the girl's hand looked identical to the one in her own. Alex smiled. “This one has my phone number.” She said. “You know. In case you get lost.” _Damn._ Toni tried her best not to bite her lip. _Great move._ “Thanks.” She said and she stepped forward to take the map from Alex, their eyes still locked.

“WOWWWWWWW.” Martha said as soon as they were out of earshot from the table. “That. was. awesome.” Toni chuckled. She could always count on Marty to be her wingman. Her line was cheesy as hell, but it worked. “On second thought, orientation was a _great_ idea.” Toni said, before she stuck her hand into the orange drawstring bag. “Name tags though. Seriously, Marty?” Toni said, making no effort to hide her disgust. “ _Toni._ ” Martha pleaded.“ _Fineeeeee._ ” Toni peeled the back of her name tag off and stuck it on her left breast. “I am being a good sport," Toni said with a smile as she put on the orange UT visor that she found in the drawstring bag. “HOT.” Martha said. Toni laughed. Martha was the first to spot the large orange and white "FOUR" sign. She linked her arm into Toni’s. "Here goes nothing!" She said, as Toni followed her lead to the sign.


	3. Are You An Aries?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of sexual abuse, child abuse 
> 
> Toni and Martha attend the first day of freshman orientation where they meet Dot, Fatin, Shelby and Nora.

Martha turned to Toni who gave her an encouraging nod before she unhooked her arm from Toni’s and made her way to the group congregated under the large “four” sign. It was Toni’s way of letting Martha know that she should do her own thing. Toni and Martha were perfectly opposite. Martha was a gentle and warm optimist. Toni was a blunt and feisty realist. Martha saw the glass half-full. Toni saw the glass half-empty and wondered where the fuck the water was from. Toni loved everything about her best friend, but felt that sometimes Martha’s rose-colored glasses tinted reality. Toni knew it was a defense mechanism Martha used to protect herself. When she was fifteen, Martha bravely revealed that she was sexually abused by a former doctor. _Fucking perverted bastard._ For the past three years, Martha attended therapy regularly. Toni knew how hard Martha had worked to process the trauma, and Martha was happier, healthier and stronger because of it. On more than one occasion Martha had suggested that Toni consider therapy; lord knows that Toni’s short fuse had been getting her into trouble since Amanda left, but Toni wouldn’t hear it. Toni watched her best friend disappear into the sea of students and smiled. Martha was so excited to learn about UT and meet other students. Toni was there because she made a promise to Marty. Truth be told, she was just trying to get through the day. 

Toni yawned audibly as she walked toward the garbage closest to the group and tossed her empty coffee cup into the bin. A few feet from the garbage was a girl sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette, two orange drawstring bags at her feet. The girl was wearing a black thin _Nirvana_ short sleeved tee-shirt under a dark green and white flannel, light-washed mid-length jean shorts, and a black choker. A few thin blue streaks highlighted her medium brown hair, which fell slightly above her shoulders. Her vanilla skin was slightly burned from the sun and her brown eyes were lined with thick black eyeliner. She looked as enthusiastic as Toni felt. “Group Four?” Toni asked. “Oh yeah.” The girl turned her head away from Toni as she exhaled smoke. “Sweet name tag.” She smiled sarcastically. “I’m being a good sport.” Toni explained. “Noted.” The girl grabbed the bags at her feet and transferred her cigarette to her opposite hand. She stood, her right hand outstretched to Toni. “I’m Dot.” “Toni,” she said as she shook Dot’s hand. “Apparently.” Dot said with a smirk. Toni laughed.

“So, who’d you have to sleep with to get two of those?” Toni joked nodding to the bags. Dot chuckled, letting her nearly finished cigarette fall to the ground. She extinguished it with one of her black combat boots before bending down to pick up the bud and throwing it into a bottle-shaped disposal for cigarette buds. “If only I was that cool. It’s my roommate’s.” She said. “Speaking of,” she said as a tall, slim girl with long, straight black hair and golden brown skin walked towards them. She was wearing a black scoop-neck tank with “DON’T” in large white letters, crimson silk shorts that were particularly short on her long, toned legs, oversized hoop earrings, and a large gold watch on her left wrist. “Fatin, meet Toni.” “Hey.” The girl said, moving to stand next to Dot. The two had nearly four inches on Toni, but at a mere five three she was used to it. People underestimated her strength all of the time because of her height. “Nice shirt.” Toni said slyly. “Nice bod.” Fatin replied without missing a beat. Toni looked to Dot curiously. “That’s Fatin.” Dot chuckled. Fatin shifted her weight slightly so that she was facing Toni. “Oh, don’t be coy.” She said, clearly checking Toni out. “You’re like _stupid hot_.” Toni couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks?” She was not expecting that. 

A few minutes later, a thick Southern-accent rose slightly above the crowd. “Okay! Group Four. If ya’ll could get in a circle for me. We’re going to start the day off with an icebreaker.” Toni scanned the group, looking for the face that matched the voice. Her eyes landed on a girl with a killer smile and aviator sunglasses on the top of her mid-length, light blonde hair that fell in perfect loose waves. Her ivory skin was sun-kissed and she wore an orange University of Texas shirt, ripped white jean shorts, and an orange lanyard with a tag that said “UT Orientation Leader.” With the exception of the tattoo on her right wrist, the girl looked like the perfect Southern belle with the accent to match. “Great. We got stuck with Camp Counselor Barbie.” Fatin said. “More like Miss Texas.” Toni scoffed. “Miss Texas _Teen_.” Dot corrected her. “No shit.” Toni said. Fatin laughed. “Yeah. We’re from the same hometown.” Dot lowered her voice as she, Toni and Fatin joined the circle. 

The blonde took a spot next to Martha. “Alrighty then. HELLO LONGHORNS!” she cheered as she raised her hand to her forehead, making the infamous UT longhorn symbol. Toni rolled her eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was fake-optimism coated in the girl’s voice, her oversized pearl earrings, the small silver cross that sat on her neck, or the way Martha was looking at her in awe, but she was not feeling this girl. “My name is Shelby Goodkind, and I’m your orientation leader.” Toni listened as she explained the ice breaker. It wasn’t until she made eye contact with Martha that Toni realized that her face showed her disgust. Toni smiled foolishly, which caused Martha to shake her head. Marty could tell Toni’s smile was disingenuous. Shelby instructed the group to pair off. Toni turned to Fatin and Dot. “Which one of you wants to be my partner?” “I found her.” Dot said quickly. “Fine.” Fatin said unbothered and she turned to introduce herself to the girl on her right.

Toni shifted her weight and folded her arms across her small frame. “Alright. So you’re from Texas, you like grunge music, you smoke cigs, and you room with Fatin. What else?” Dot smiled. “I used to deal drugs?” Toni laughed, unsure whether Dot was making a joke, although it didn’t matter. “Good to know; not sure I could use that information _right now_.” Dot laughed. “True.” She said. “I’m a big fan of wilderness shows. Bear Grylls. Naked and Afraid. Survivorman. The works. Oh, and I can draw.” Dot said. “You?” “I’m from Minnesota. I live with my best friend/sister, Martha. I’m on the basketball team, and I plan on studying social work.” “Nice.” Dot responded. “Your best friend/sister,” she asked. “Yup. Became best friends while her family fostered/raised me and then three years later her mom legally adopted me. My chosen sister.” Dot nodded her head. 

Toni and Martha could pass for sisters. Both girls had thick brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin. Martha had a few inches on Toni, but they otherwise were around the same height. One of the first things that initially bonded the girls was their common heritage: Martha and her family were a part of the Ojibwe tribe. Toni didn’t know details but knew her biological father was indigenous. Hopewell Lake had a decent Native American population, so by the time they reached middle school Toni and Martha had attended a handful of heritage classes, workshops and weekend events. “Foster kid?” She asked Toni. Dot’s bluntness surprised Toni, but it didn't bother her. Toni was blunt too. She nodded. “The piece of shit who is technically my father was out before I was born and the using alcoholic who supervised me the first seven years of my life left me in our trailer home and never looked back.” Dot swallowed hard. “My dad died in the spring. Most of his life insurance, which is shit because he was sick for a while, is paying for my tuition. He was the only family I had.” “Damn.” Toni shook her head. There was a brief silence but it wasn’t awkward. “Well." Dot smiled. "That was super fucking dark for day one of orientation. Looks like we have some pretty fucked shit in common.” Dot said lightly. “No shit,” Toni replied.

While they waited for the rest of the group to reconvene, Toni glanced over to Martha. She was paired with Shelby, which irritated Toni. Apparently, Toni was not doing a good job of hiding her distaste because Shelby kept looking at her. “My sister is with Texas,” Toni muttered. “I’ll introduce you guys later.” Dot nodded, taking no offense to the nickname she assigned to the blonde. “So what’s her deal?” Toni asked, her golden brown eyes still on Shelby. “We’re from the same hometown. We went to high school together up until the fall of senior year. She dropped out and ended up getting her GED. Not sure why. We played on the same soccer team when we were kids. Haven’t spoken to her since. Her family is super religious; like no premarital sex, no contraceptives Christian. I heard her dad is on the board of some conversion therapy.” Dot said. Toni shook her head in disbelief. "Fuck."

Toni zoned out until it was Fatin’s turn to speak. Fatin smiled at her partner who had curly dark hair that landed just above her breasts, light brown skin and big dark eyes. She was wearing a light mustard crop top that perfectly hugged her toned stomach and brown wide-legged palazzo pants that landed somewhere between her knees and her ankles. She had at least ten hoops and studs in her ears, a large silver hoop in her left nostril and gold necklace with a small cursive “ _N_.” “This is Nora Reid.” Fatin started. Toni had seen Nora and Fatin laughing with one another when they were paired, but now that all eyes were on the girl, she appeared slightly uncomfortable. “She is from New York City. She has a fraternal twin sister who is probably just as gorgeous as she is. She is hella smart – like National Merit scholar and fluent in three languages smart – and she enjoys reading, _obviously_. Oh, and I’ve only just met her, but I can tell that she’s edgy as shit.” Nora looked at Fatin and smiled. From the corner of her eye, Toni saw Shelby frown when Fatin cursed; the rest of the group didn’t bat an eye. _Dumb_. “This is Fatin Jadmani.” Nora said, her eyes moving between Fatin to the ground. “She’s from Berkeley, California. She is an award-winning cellist who knows how to party and she’s only at UT because her super-strict parents insist that she get a formal education before she moves to L.A. and becomes an influencer.” Fatin beamed; Nora nailed the introduction. “What the hell is an influencer?” Dot asked. Toni laughed. “You think _I_ fucking know?”

Dot and Toni introduced one another to the group, and Toni resumed spacing out until it was Martha’s turn to be introduced. “Alrighty! That’s so great, ya’ll!” Shelby beamed. “Last but not least, me and Martha! This is Martha Blackburn.” Shelby gestured to Martha like she was showing off a prize on a game show. “She’s from Hopewell Lake, Minnesota, is a proud member of the Ojibwe tribe, and is a fricken fantastic dancer.” Toni shuttered. _Fricken fantastic_. “She lives with her sister, Toni.” Shelby motioned to her and Toni couldn’t help but notice that the girl had piercing green eyes. “She’s a vegetarian who loves animals, she is studying to become a veterinarian, and she’s super flipping excited to be here.” Shelby smiled. “Oh. And she’s too modest to admit it, but I swear, she has the most drop dead gorgeous eyes, ya’ll.” Martha blushed. _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me_. “This is Shelby.” Martha smiled and copied Shelby’s game show gesture. “She’s from Fort Travis, Texas. She likes to sing. She isn’t sure what she wants to study yet, but she’s really excited to figure it out here at UT. In her own words, ‘She’s real. She does family; she does Jesus; she does pageants.’” Toni snorted audibly. She felt Martha’s eyes on her, which meant that Shelby must have heard her. She ignored it. 

“We’ll now that we know a little bit about each other, why don’t I show ya’ll around this gorgeous campus?” Shelby said and Toni rolled her eyes. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something about this girl made her skin crawl. The group broke from the circle and started following Shelby, who was walking with Martha. “OH! And one quick thing.” Shelby turned back to face the group and looked to Dot. “I don’t mind if ya’ll smoke on the tour - as long as we’re outside, of course - but _pleaseeee_ be sure to put throw your cigarettes out in the proper bins. Don’t need to be starting any fires now.” Shelby smiled, turned around, and continued her conversation with Martha. _Seriously?_ Toni couldn’t take it anymore. She cleared her throat. “Now, be sure to hold hands and look both ways before ya’ll cross the street, okay?” She said to Fatin, Dot and Nora, doing her best to mimic Shelby’s accent. The girls laughed. Martha turned, her eyes grilling Toni. _“Toni." _Toni recognized the tone; Marty was pissed. Shelby turned around and walked backwards, her green eyes locked with Toni’s. “Don’t be silly, Martha. If Toni still needs to hold someone’s hand while she crosses the street, who am I to stop her.” She said with a smirk. Toni saw Shelby's eyes narrow on her before she turned around. “Damn. Barbie has an edge.” Fatin scoffed. _This is going to be a long fucking day.___


	4. Let's Play Some Fucking Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni and Martha invite Dot, Fatin, Nora and Shelby over for post-orientation drinks. Nora brings her twin sister, Rachel, and Dot invites Leah, a girl she met on her floor. The girls get to know each other while playing a few drinking game and Toni starts to hone in on her suspicions about Shelby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suspicions of homophobia
> 
> Other notes: crude sexual content. underage drinking but all of the girls are 18+. mature for now, but at some point this will elevate from mature to explicit.

“Hey, Barbie.” Fatin called as she took a large swig from the neck of the cold handle of vodka in her hand and chased it with the energy drink in the other. “Aren’t you going to propose some sort of camp game?” “Nope,” Shelby sipped her spiked seltzer. “My shift ended at five.” It was Friday night. To Toni’s surprise, she had made it through the two-day orientation. Initially, she had no intention of attending the second day – as long as Marty felt comfortable going alone, of course – but Dot made her, Fatin and Nora agree that they would stick it out. “Solidarity, baby.”

Toni had only just met Dot, but she had a good feeling about her. The same was true about Fatin and Nora, which is ultimately why she agreed to attend the second day of orientation. Fatin suggested spicing things up by making their coffees Irish, but Toni was in no position to be caught on campus with booze, so she invited the girls over for post-orientation drinks. It was their first Friday night in Austin after all. Martha invited Shelby, obviously. Nora brought her twin sister, Rachel, and Dot invited Leah, a girl she met on move-in day who lived on the same floor as her and Fatin. Martha told Shelby to bring her high school sweetheart, Andrew. Toni was relieved when the blonde showed up alone. From what Dot had told her, it sounded like Andrew was a Grade A piece of shit. 

“Well in that case, I’ll take point.” Fatin said to no one in particular. Leah, Dot and Shelby were in the kitchen talking about their expectations for the first week. Martha was in the living room chatting with Nora. Earlier that day Toni learned that Nora was majoring in ecology. Three of her six classes were with Marty, who studying biology. Toni overheard Martha ask Nora to be her lab partner while she chatted with Rachel. Toni was still not convinced that the girls were sisters. Sure, Rachel and Nora shared some physical features, both had dark brown hair, light brown skin, and dark brown eyes, but Toni was convinced that she and Rachel had more in common than Nora and Rachel. Rachel was an all-star athlete; Nora was a soft-spoken academic. Rachel was direct; Nora was reserved.

Toni was glad Nora had brought her sister. Rachel’s naturally curly hair was pulled into a tight bun that sat on the top of her head. Her loose white tee-shirt and ripped black jeans showed off her athletic frame. Rachel was on the Diving Team and it showed. She wore a silver chain and two small studs in each of her ears. Because she was an athlete, Rachel and Toni had similar schedules. All freshman athletes were required to attend a three-hour study session once a week. Rachel and Toni were in the same study session on Wednesday nights. Plus, Rachel was gay and she, like Toni, had a fake id. The two had already exchanged numbers and talked about exploring the gay scene in Austin together.

Fatin cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “Alright everybody, gather round.” The girls took various places in the living room with their drink of choice. Martha sat on the smaller couch next to Shelby. Toni was convinced there was some sort of adhesive keeping the two together. With the exception of her conversation with Nora, Toni hadn’t seen Martha leave Shelby’s side since she arrived. Leah sat on the floor in between Rachel, who sat on the ottoman, and the large couch where Dot and Toni sat. Nora sat in the bean bag directly across from Dot and Toni, in between her sister and Martha and Shelby. “Let’s start with a few rounds of never have I ever.” Fatin refilled the solo cup in her hand with vodka and topped it off with a few splashes of red bull. “Isn’t that basically poison?” Toni asked. “Poison or not, it’s delicious.” Fatin offered her cup to Toni, who paused for a second to smell the drink before taking a generous swig of the orange liquid. She shrugged; it wasn’t bad. “Okay. So we’ll go around the circle. When it’s your turn, you say something you have never done. If you’ve done it, you drink. Easy enough?” The girls nodded. Toni smirked. “Looks like someone is about to get hammered,” she said looking to Fatin. “ _Soo true_ ,” Dot snickered before briefly chugging the beer bottle in her hand.

Fatin took a seat in between Toni and Dot. “Martha, as one of our generous hosts, why don’t you start?” Martha took a sip of the spiked seltzer Shelby had gifted them, "a house warming present," and nodded. “Sorry, Toni,” she said with a smile. Toni shook her head playfully; she knew where this was going. “Never have I ever kissed a girl.” “ _Every time man_ ,” Toni chuckled. “With pride, mother fuckers,” she said as she raised her cup of vodka and lemonade to the group before taking a large sip. Martha laughed. “It’s my go-to.” She explained. Fatin, Rachel, Nora and Leah drank as well. “Really?” Fatin asked looking at Leah. She was intrigued and secretly a little turned on. Dot had met Leah at UT, but it turned out that Leah and Fatin were both from Berkeley, California. They had attended the same small performing arts high school; despite being in the same grade and knowing of one another, the two had never said more than a few words to each other. At five nine, Leah was the tallest of the group. Her chocolate brown hair was pulled into a loose side braid. Her deep blue eyes were highlighted by the light makeup on her pale skin, which was slightly tanned from the sun. She was wearing a burnt orange blouse that showed just enough cleavage and skinny blue jeans. She had a few rings on her thin hands and a handful of studs in her ears.“I’m attracted to people; gender isn’t a part of the equation.” Leah said. “Pansexual.” Nora added. Leah nodded. “Me too.” Nora said, smiling. She leaned over and tapped her can of hard cider with Leah’s solo cup before taking a large swig. “ _Rude._ ” Fatin said. Nora looked to Fatin. “You didn’t cheers me, bitch.” Nora smiled and rolled her eyes. “To pansexuals,” she cried. The three girls toasted one another and drank.

“Not me.” Rachel spat. “Never met a guy I couldn’t stand for longer than five minutes.” “ _FUCKING AMEN_.” Toni scoffed noticing that everyone laughed except Shelby, who looked slightly uncomfortable.“Barbie, you’re next.” Fatin instructed. “Easy. Never have I ever had vaginal penetrative intercourse.” Shelby stated without hesitation. " _Shocker_." Fatin muttered. Everyone but Martha drank. “Really!?” Shelby smiled to Martha. “I thought I would get everyone with that one!” “Nope.” Martha said. “I haven’t found the right person. I want my first time to be special.” “Fuck yeah,” Toni said proudly. “Marty B is deep.” “What’s your story, Barbie?” Toni asked Shelby. “Too good to put out?” Shelby’s face reddened. “I never said that. I just think sex should be between a husband and a wife, that’s all.” Toni choked on her drink. _This girl has to be fucking joking_. “Lameeeee.” Fatin replied. “Sex is _awesome_.” Leah, Dot, Nora, Rachel and Martha laughed. Shelby’s word choice had sobered Toni’s buzz. She was still looking at the blonde, who refused to meet her gaze. Shelby didn’t say “marriage,” she said _a husband and a wife_. Dot had told her that Shelby’s family was super religious and that her dad helped run a conversion therapy, and the blonde looked super uncomfortable before when the girls were talking about their sexual orientation. Against her better judgment, Toni had given Shelby the benefit of the doubt. But Shelby was giving off a vibe that Toni had felt a few too many times not to know what it was. _She's homophobic._

Before Toni could dig further, Leah spoke. “Dot, you’re up.” Toni attempted to forget the suspicions that had made her blood run hot through her veins. “Well, staying on theme, never have I ever had a threesome.” Dot said, looking around the circle. Fatin smiled and took a sip from her cup. “ _Shut up_.” Dot stammered. “Hey, you do you, but _none_ of that shit in the dorm, k? It’s small enough as it is.” Nora roared. Rachel nearly spit out her drink. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” Fatin replied shamelessly. 

“Alright. My turn. Sorry to get dark here folks, but it’s all I can think of.” Fatin said. “Never have I ever been in love.” “Damn.” Rachel muttered before lifting her cup to her lips. Leah, Nora and Toni also drank. Toni found herself looking at Shelby, whose beverage hadn't moved. _Hadn’t Shelby and her boyfriend been dating for like a year? What was this fucking girl’s deal?_ Fatin nudged her. “You’re up, Shalifoe.” 

_Fuck this girl. Time for bible princess to drink up._ “Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.” Toni smiled. For the first time in the game, Shelby was the only one who drank. _“Fucking finally.”_ Fatin said. “First time for everything,” Leah responded as Shelby showed the group her wrist tattoo which consisted of several roman numerals. _Probably a fucking bible verse._

“Never have I ever been suspended.” Leah said. Toni rolled her eyes and took a swig from her cup. To her surprise, Dot also drank. Fatin looked at them curiously. Dot shook her head, “long story.” “Some have said that I have a short fuse.” Toni stated flatly. Martha snorted loudly, “that is the understatement of the year.”

“You’re up Rach,” Nora said to her sister. “Never have I ever given a blow job,” Rachel smiled, nodding at Toni. “Fuck yeah,” Toni replied with a smile. “Pussy _all day_ ,” she added. _Princess should love that._ Toni looked to Shelby who, to her surprise, didn’t drink. _What._ “Looks like you’ve been calling Texas the wrong name,” she said to Fatin. “I think we’ve been blessed with the presence of the Virgin Mary herself, ya’ll.” Toni said, mimicking Shelby’s accent. After the first day of orientation Toni had promised Marty that she would back off of Shelby but now that she knew Shelby was a bigot, all bets were off. “Fuck you, Toni.” Shelby spat, her green eyes locked on Toni. Toni smiled, knowing she hit a nerve. “You say your prayers with that mouth?” She quipped.

“Nora, why don’t you go before these two kill each other, yeah?” Fatin said, hoping to ease the tension. “Never have I ever dyed my hair.” Shelby, Leah, Martha and Dot drank. Thankfully, the simplicity of Nora’s “never have I ever” eased the tension. At this point, all of the girls were feeling the effects of their beverages. After playing one more round of never have I ever, the girls were beyond buzzed and Fatin was “bored of being the only one who was drinking,” so she suggested they switch to Truth or Dare. 

Per Fatin’s request, Martha had written the girls’ names on small pieces of paper, which were folded and spread in a circle on the coffee table. “It’s similar to the game we all know and love, with a few changes.” Fatin placed the handle of vodka in the center around the folded pieces of paper on the coffee table and pulled a few shot glasses out of her bag, which made Leah and Nora smirk. _Fucking Fatin._ Toni got up to grab some chasers from the fridge. “When it’s your turn, you pick a piece of paper. You ask that person a truth or dare, your choice. If that person doesn’t answer the question or bitches out of the dare, they take a shot. If they answer the question or do the dare, you take the shot.” “Damnnnnnnn.” The girls buzzed with excitement. “Hey!” Toni returned to the living room, eight solo cups and various soda cans in her hands. “Everyone is welcome to sleep here. We have couches and an air mattress. It’s either that or you get an Uber. Nobody is driving, deal?” Fatin looked at Toni. “Shalifoeee,” she said playfully. “Was this all a ruse to get me to sleep over?” “Fuck.” Toni replied, “I thought I had you.” The other girls laughed uncontrollably. Rachel looked closely at the pieces of paper before she picked one and started the game.

Toni was the last person to be picked. By the time it was her turn, all of the girls, herself included, were drunk. Rachel, Dot and Nora were given dares: Rachel had drunk texted her ex-girlfriend – thankfully they were on good terms, Dot had taken a body shot off of Fatin, and Nora had flashed the group. Martha, Fatin, Leah and Shelby had been asked “truths:” Martha admitted that her biggest fear was that she would never find love; Fatin told them that the kinkiest thing she had ever done was have sex in a janitor’s closet at her high school _during_ fifth period; and Leah revealed that if she was to fuck anyone in the group, it would be Fatin. Shelby was asked her deepest secret, but took the shot. _Prude._ Dot smirked at Toni as if she was planning something evil. “Alright big shot,” she joked. “I dare you to kiss someone.” “Oh shitttt.” Martha said. “No chance.” Rachel yelled. Fatin laughed, “don’t tempt me with a good time.”

Toni was never one to back down from a dare and she wasn’t about to start now. Fatin was obviously gorgeous and something about her, maybe her confidence, maybe her playfulness, intrigued Toni. Plus, she was clearly attracted to her. Dot was right. Toni occasionally was a big shot. _Fuck it. Go big or go home._ Toni grabbed the handle in the center of the coffee table and poured herself a shot, pretending as if she was declining the dare. She toasted to the group before bringing it to her lips and tossing it back. The liquid was barely down her throat when she turned, grabbed Fatin’s face, and crashed their lips together. Fatin hesitated for a split second while her brain caught up and kissed back. She smelled liked lavender; her lips tasted like vanilla lip gloss and red bull and vodka. Toni sloppily put a hand behind Fatin's head and moved slightly, opening Fatin’s mouth and pushing her tongue passed the girl’s teeth. Fatin wrestled her tongue around Toni’s before sliding it into her mouth hungrily. The kiss was much more intense than Toni had expected. _Fuck._ Toni thought as she felt herself getting wet.

“Okay! Okay!” The sound of Dot’s voice broke Toni's haze and brought her back to reality. “Before you start dry humping in front of us, can you get a room?” Toni pulled away from Fatin and smirked, “sorry.” “For what?” Fatin laughed honestly, “that was fucking hot.” “Holy shit.” Rachel looked at Toni proudly. “Looks like I was wrong about you, Shalifoe. We're going to have a fucking blast when we go downtown." Toni leaned back on the couch, drunk on arousal and alcohol. As she caught her breath, she realized that the blonde she watched all night was nowhere in sight.


	5. If God Brings You to It, God Will Bring You Through It.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Toni and Fatin's makeout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one. I'm hitting a bit of a writer's block but hope to have another chapter in a week or so. I know where I want to go, just am figuring out how to get there.

Martha softly knocked on the bathroom door Shelby was locked behind. “Shelby, what’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” She asked. Apparently sometime during Toni and Fatin’s makeout, Shelby had abruptly left the living room. Martha had ran after her. The rest of the girls were congregated in the kitchen, doing their best to easvedrop. “Did she get sick?” Nora asked sincerely. “Oh _come on_ you guys.” Toni looked to her friends. “Texas couldn’t handle the lesbianism.” Leah’s brows furrowed. “Seriously?” Rachel asked. “You don’t know that.” Dot said, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

The girls quieted as they heard the bathroom door open. “Shelby, what happened?” Martha asked. “Are you sick?” Shelby audibly exhauled. “I’m sorry, Martha, I’m not used to seeing that stuff. It got intense out there and I needed a minute.” _Bullshit._ Toni had enough. The brunette stormed out of the kitchen into the hallway where Shelby and Martha were standing. _“That stuff?”_ She asked, venom in her voice. “Don’t bullshit us, Shelby. I’ve been out since I was twelve. The vibe that’s been coming off you I’ve felt too many times not to know what it is.” “What are you saying, Toni?” Martha asked genuinely. “I’m saying that she can’t stand that I’m gay, Marty. That’s what skeeves her out.” Shelby didn’t say anything. “That’s not true,” Martha stammered, looking to Shelby who didn’t respond. “Tell me I’m wrong, Shelby.” Toni offered. Shelby paused for a minute. “Look. I didn’t want to get into this here, but I'll be honest because ya'll deserve that. I do believe that way of life is a sin.” Toni’s heart dropped. Despite her suspicions, she didn’t want to be right. “WOW.” She heard Fatin mutter from the kitchen.

No one said anything. Toni's anger became secondary to the pain she saw in her best friend’s deep brown eyes. “I’m sorry,” Shelby stammered. “But everything I’ve ever known has taught me that. There is no hate in my heart. I just feel sorry for –“ _“No.”_ Martha said firmly. “Martha,” Shelby started. “I SAID NO.” Martha yelled. Toni inhaled sharply; she had never heard Marty yell before. Martha looked at Shelby, her eyes dark. For the first time in her life, Toni walked away, hiding the fact that she was fighting back tears. As she passed through the kitchen, she pointed to the living room. The girls understood the gesture and somberly followed her into the living room.

“Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?” Martha spat. “You call yourself a Christian and then you come here and say horrible, hateful things about my sister.” Martha’s voice broke. “I _will not_ let you speak about Toni that way – especially not in her home. This is where she is supposed to feel safe.” Toni’s heart ached. She could that Martha was about to cry. “Martha,” Shelby said, unsure what to say. The apartment was awkwardly silent as Martha left walked away from Shelby, leaving her alone in the hallway. When she returned, she had Shelby’s purse and remaining seltzers in her arms. “It’s time for you to go. I called you an uber,” she said quietly, handing Shelby her things. Martha, please-“ The blonde whispered. Seconds later, Toni heard Martha’s bedroom door close. Shelby fled the apartment, not saying a word as she passed the living room. Almost immediately after the front door closed, Toni heard Martha begin to sob.

The events that transpired had sobered the evening. Toni told the girls they could crash, but they decided to split an Uber; Rachel and Nora’s dorm was within walking distance of Dot, Leah and Fatin’s. The girls said their goodbyes, requesting that Toni to say goodnight to Martha. “Looks like we’ll have to continue that kiss some other time,” Fatin winked as she closed the front door behind her. “Hey bitches, I call sitting on Leah’s lap!” Fatin screamed down the hall. Toni chuckled, forgetting the hurtful things that brought the evening to a screaming halt for a minute. _Oh Fatin._


End file.
